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35 of 38 found the following review helpful:
 We Need Our Monsters, Whether We Like it or NotJun 13, 2005
By B. Merritt
"filmreviewstew.com"
I can't remember how this film ended up in my hands (maybe a friend recommended it), but I won't ever let it go now. There is endless speculation here at Amazon.com about "what this films meanings are", and after viewing it several times, I might (and that's an awfully big "MIGHT") be able to add my two cents. But first, let me tell you briefly what this sucker's all about:
Beatrice (Sarah Polley), a nobody reporter for an obscure media magnate, is sent to Iceland to speak with the natives of a distant village about their belief that an ancient monster lives in an abandoned missile silo somewhere near their dwellings. On her way to Iceland many strange things happen to Beatrice: her purse gets stolen by a dark and sinister looking female drug addict, shadows lurk around corners, and Beatrice begins to feel that evil is not too far away from her. And she's right. Her plane crashes into the Atlantic Ocean and she is the only survivor. After many, many months of therapy (and going through an oddball spinal operation that involves excruciating pain that causes her to black out), she's finally able to make it to the Icelandic village ...and soon discovers that the monster is REAL!
Robert John Burke (Robo Cop 3 and Tombstone) plays the monster who's been around since "humans crawled out of the primordial ooze." He's a sarcastic, burned out monster who's only hope is that he'll die one of these millennia and be put out of his misery of watching the human race devour itself. He's an excellent character who you just love listening to, his voice a slow cadence contained within a body who's personality swings from depression to wrath in the blink of an eye. And when Beatrice offers to help him end his life of suffering, he reluctantly agrees to go along with her (nothing has worked up until this point, so the monster has serious doubts that anyone can kill him).
When Beatrice brings him back to civilization, a media frenzy ensues. A REAL monster! Newspapers, TV, radio, they're eating it up! But the monster doesn't want any of that. He wants to be away from these gnats of humanity. But even more sinister things are afoot. The military wants to examine him to find out why he's so indestructible. The media wants to make a "Beauty and the Beast" story out of him and Beatrice. And terrible people are using their fear of him to do awful things to the monster (like beating him up and peeing on him).
Finally, Beatrice finds a scientist who proposes his method of ending the monsters existence. And a rush to end his life before anyone can stop them takes place. Can science really kill our monsters? What happens if you kill off the last monster in the world? Can we live without them?
The amazing thing about this film is that it makes you think, laugh, cry, and shiver, often in the same scene. Incredible scripting.
So what about my two cents? I think this films main focus is on the monsters in our lives and how we perceive them, and what would happen if we killed them all off. It would change the very fabric of who we are. Could you imagine a world without Dracula? Or Frankenstein? Or that little furry monster that lived under you bed when you were eight years old? What would happen to us if they never existed in our thoughts and imaginations? Is THAT a more terrible fate than actually having a real one living in an abandoned missile silo?
As crazy as this concept may sound, the movie gives implicit meaning to it by showing us Beatrice's encounter with the drugged-out purse stealer, her plane crash, her suffering through horrific pain during spinal surgery, and her eventual understanding of how important some demons are in our lives.
A fantastic film. A+
34 of 41 found the following review helpful:
the trouble with satireNov 23, 2003
By E Rice
is that it needs a sophisticated, well-informed audience, able to make connections without large neon arrows, and aware of nuance. intelligence helps. i originally watched this film because it was set in iceland. i watched it a second time, and am buying the dvd, because of all the subtle, quiet bits of staging, the wonderful dialogue, its absurdity, the quality of the performances, and the density of meaning and references--not only the obvious, but possibly the obscure: does this scene reference morality plays? does the movie satirize quest legends? this film reminds me of a review the author dick francis once got--the reviewer said that francis leaves much unsaid but nothing unexpressed. if you prefer to actively participate in a performance, to have your mind as well as your emotions engaged, this is a film you will enjoy. if every motivation and action has to be explained to you by several minutes of dialogue, look somewhere else.
8 of 8 found the following review helpful:
 RecommendedJun 06, 2005
By Only-A-Child
Imagine that the original "Outer Limits" folks remade "King Kong" in their standard monster style and you have a good idea of "No Such Thing's" look and feel. Then throw in a little "Mighty Joe Young" banter, "Beauty and the Beast fashions", and "The Song of Bernadette" for good measure.
The film is a stylistic masterpiece and the banter between the beast and Beatrice (Sarah Polley) is surreal comedy at its best. If you enjoy quirky and subtly off-kilter films then the superficial story of "No Such Thing" will be a real pleasure in itself. Don't let frustration over the underlying meaning ruin the fun during the first viewing-just go with it.
The DVD does not contain a director's commentary so the viewer is left to speculate on just what this thing is really about; what themes Hartley is serious about and to what degree the obvious themes are just there for parody and laughs.
My retrospective take is that it is about the interplay of evolution and intelligent design, with the monster an artifact left over from creation. God created the monster, knowing that humankind needs fear for motivation. He expected us to have evolved beyond fear and hate of each other long before now, creating a need for the monster as a tangible fear factor. But this did not happen, making the monster irrelevant and God disillusioned with humankind. Both he and the monster are bored with the stupidity they see.
God decides to intervene so the monster can go away and be put out of it's misery. He chooses Beatrice for this mission and she goes through a miracle survival experience to heighten her appreciation for life and to give her a distanced perspective free of fear and hate. Sarah Polley is perfectly cast as Beatrice; her Beatrice is somehow both detached and expressive. If you enjoy Polley you will love this character.
Then again, what do I know? I'm only a child.
4 of 4 found the following review helpful:
Hartley Tries Something New, While Staying the SameJul 04, 2003
By M. Colford
"chlotrudis"
I had been eagerly anticipating this film because it featured three of my favorite film personalities... Hal Hartley, Sarah Polley and Helen Mirren. Buzz around this new film had been rather negative... largely, I think, due to the trailer on the NO SUCH THING website, that makes the film look like a mainstream film... which is certainly is not. It's Hal, through and through and I really loved it. Sarah Polley and Helen Mirren are outstanding as an innocent, waifish assistant, and her hard-nosed, cynical boss respectively, on a television news show. Robert Burke (UNBELIEVABLE TRUTH, SIMPLE MEN) plays the monster. Julie Christie also appears as a brilliant doctor in Iceland. Hartley tackles a stairical look at the media... and does so with humor and real emotion. Some of Polley's scenes as she undergoes a series of traumatic hardships are amazing. And the slow revelation about the monster while hardly unexpected is still surprising. Once again, Hartley wraps things up with a mysterious and transcendent ending.
6 of 7 found the following review helpful:
"I'm Not The Monster I Used To Be" ~ The Dissolution Of The SacredMay 01, 2007
By Brian E. Erland
"Rainbow Sphinx"
According to Plutarch (CE 45-125) the great Goat-God "Pan is Dead," dying just as the Christian faith was taking hold in the Mediterranean world, a classic case of out with the old and in with the new. However what if Plutarch was wrong, what if Pan hadn't died but lived on through the centuries. What if this primal, rural deity remained in the shadows of history quietly observing the advancement of mankind through the ages. What would he think of seeing his beloved wilderness landscape slowly devoured and replaced by large, congested urban centers. Would he be forced into a nomadic existence forever looking for a place of solitude away from the ever curious world of men. If he was seen on occasion would he be revered as in old as a God, or despised and perceived as a monster? What if Pan really did exist?
Interesting premise don't you think? Well this is the situation and just some of the questions dealt with in Hal Hartley's amazing dark comedy `No Such Thing' (`01). OK, I admit the film doesn't actually refer to this horned and hairy monster as the legendary Pan but the resemblance is strong and there are definitely subtle implications in the script supporting this view. Anyway, a satyr-like creature is discovered alive and hiding out in a remote region of Iceland. He is isolated, depressed, alcoholic and suicidal. The monster laments, "I see extinction in everything around me." He's convinced that only dying can solve his problem. But he can't, he's immortal. This disenfranchised pagan deity now spends his time drinking and terrorizing a nearby village whenever his anger at mankind becomes too much to bear. All seems hopeless until Beatrice a young American journalist convinces him to accompany her back to the U.S.A., giving her the story of the century and providing him with his one and only chance for extinction.
`No Such Thing' is one of the most original, off-beat and quirky films you'll ever come across. Hartley's dialogue ranges from inventive to absurd, but always meaningful and layered. Robert John Burke is brilliant as the potty-mouthed Satyr and Sarah Polley is a perfect choice for the clueless Beatrice. If you're looking for something totally different from the everyday here it is!
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